Made it through yet another Monday, this one was definitely different. But different in a good way. Unfortunately, having workers at my house doing repairs or my waiting around for someone has stopped my running routine for the past three business days ( I don’t run on weekends, that would take time away from the boys). I can tell I’m getting a bit grumpy from jogging withdrawal, but I’m optimistic that I can get back on schedule tomorrow.
Both boys are both running for student council, so my artistic skills (or lack thereof) have been called into play. Two posters down, two to go, campaign buttons have been printed off & assembled. This morning’s home project involved installation of a new garage door opener. It’s so quiet! The old one sounded like a freight train in comparison.
A friend came and picked me up for a late lunch. This precious person has been an acquaintance for a time, but after sharing my life in Readers Digest fashion with her during our two hours at McAlisters, I feel like I can now truly call her friend. God brings amazing people into our lives as needed, and I feel like I’ve hit the lottery here lately.
My devotional book, given to me by another new friend, Mark’s ICU nurse (she’s visited me at home twice already), is written as God speaking to you in the first person. Today, it speaks of the difficulties of ordinary folks like you and me gaining access to kings and other important dignitaries, and of the red tape & protocol required to speak with royalty. And I bet you can guess where this is going….”Though I am King of the universe, I am totally accessible to you. I am with you wherever you are. Nothing can separate you from My presence! When I cried out from the cross, ‘It is finished!’ the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. This opened the way for you to meet Me face to face, with no need of protocol or priests. I, the King of Kings, am your constant Companion.”
Wow. How lucky am I? He’s with me wherever I go? This afternoon, as I sat at a picnic table, alone, waiting for my boys by the side of the elementary school, I felt bathed in the soft glow of God’s presence. It was a picture perfect afternoon, sunshine, a slight cool breeze, and I literally felt perfect contentment in that particular moment. I think that God used that solitary moment to show me that complete joy, complete love is still possible in my life. Amazing, isn’t it? My life, the one that’s been turned upside down, inside out, and spun 180 degrees in the past two months can be better, it will be better! The feeling only lasted a couple of minutes before it dissipated as others gathered around. But for those comforting few minutes, it was if time stopped and I was literally sitting next to God on that well-worn bench.
I felt hope. God gave me a glimpse of what can lie ahead for my little family of three. And it is beautiful, and glorious, and I cannot wait to see what He has in store for us.
But I’m still sitting next to a big empty chair as I type. And I have two boys in my bed, sleeping, because they want me close by physically after losing their daddy. This grief that we’re processing won’t go away. There are no shortcuts, no quick fixes….so I’m glad my King, my boys’ King, is always nearby.